Apr. 11th, 2017 12:53 pm

Prologue

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The start of the Eleanor & Park sporking.


Welcome everyone, to the sporking of Rainbow Rowell's Eleanor & Park! I'm just in the process of assembling my sporking team, so they will be coming in to spork after the prologue. It's going to be an ensemble cast of sporkers and it's gonna be absolutely awesome, so do look forward to it~!

For now, I'll be sporking the prologue on my own. So, without further ado, let's get started!

He'd stopped trying to bring her back.

Well, this is quite sudden. What's this about?

She only came back when she felt like it, in dreams and lies and broken-down déjà vu.

Um... okay, so is this about a man angsting over a Manic Pixie Dream Girl? 'Cause if it is, I'm quitting.

Like, he'd be driving to work,

Okay, but that was a bad way to start a sentence. My hopes aren't too high for this book already.

and he'd see a girl with red hair standing on the corner-- and he'd swear, for half a choking moment, that it was her.

And we're already beginning to see signs of your Manic Pixie Dream Girl from every clichéd movie with Jennifer Lawrence! *shakes head* We're barely even into the novel and I'm already starting to have regrets.

Then he'd see that the girl's hair was more blond than red.

Rowell? 'Blond' is a masculine noun. The feminine version has an 'e' at the end! Get it right, for crying out loud! How many authors make this mistake?!

And that she was holding a cigarette... And wearing a Sex Pistols T-shirt.

What's with the sudden sentence fragments? This is already badly written, my God!

Eleanor hated the Sex Pistols.

Eleanor...

Who's Eleanor? Well, this is a form of SUBTLE FORESHADOWING for the story!

Standing behind him until he turned his head. Lying next to him just before he woke up. Making everyone else seem drabber and flatter and never good enough.

These are already the hallmarks of a Manic-Pixie-Dream-Girl-falling-in-love-with-cynical-man story! In fact it's sounding almost exactly like friggin' Twilight!

If this story turns out to be exactly like Twilight, I'm quitting. And for the love of God, stop using fragments!

Eleanor ruining everything.

Eleanor, gone.


*seething* If I see anymore sentence fragments, I'm gonna lose it.

He'd stopped trying to bring her back.

Good God, no wonder John Green loves this book! It's almost like his writing style, it's implied that there's a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, it's just... I'm already beginning to have a bad feeling.

Well guys, that was the prologue. Believe me, you haven't seen anything yet. The racism will start only on the sixth or seventh PAGE of this book, and so will the ableism. Brace yourselves, everyone. I'll see you in Chapter 1.

Continue to: Chapter 1- Park

Go back to: Introduction

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