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 This chapter is so ridiculous, especially because I am studying to be a teacher.


missabnormal: Hello everyone! As promised, I have two new guests with me to help me out here! And they he is!

(The theatre doors open, revealing a handsome shirtless young man with black hair, black tattoos, and yellow eyes. Right next to him is a young man with long blue hair. Both men sit down. They are Ren and Aoba from DRAMAtical Murder)


(This is Ren)



(This is Aoba)

missabnormal: Hello, Ren, Aoba. Sorry to have to call you in like this, but I do appreciate the both of you willing to help me out. .

Ren: I went over the book that we're reading, and it is a little bit confusing for me. I do not have much experience with being a human, so I was confused to the behaviour displayed in this chapter.

Aoba: I threw the book out of frustration because of this chapter.

missabnormal: I completely understand. Well, without further ado! (opens up her book) We start chapter four with the end of the school day, and Bethany being eager to get out. Apparently, Molly had introduced Bethany to her friends, which overwhelmed her, so she's exhausted.

Bethany's now waiting for Gabriel under a tree, where she spouts some more prose. She then states that she's "suffering from information overload", and that she wants to go home. And then, we get this.

I spotted Gabriel making his way down the main steps, closely followed by a small gaggle of admirers, mostly girls. My brother might have been a celebrity for the attention he attracted. The girls lingered several yards behind him, trying hard not to appear conspicuous. Judging by his appearance, Gabe had managed to maintain his composure and poise throughout the day, but I could see from the hard set of his jaw and the slightly ruffled look of his hair that he was ready to go home. The girls stopped speaking mid-sentence when he glanced in their direction. I knew my brother and guessed that despite his apparent composure, he would never welcome such attention. He seemed embarrassed rather than flattered by it. 

Ren: Do girls in real life behave like this if they have a teacher who is attractive?

missabnormal: *rolls eyes* No sensible girl in real life, that is. But we haven't seen anything yet, Ren.

Gabriel was nearly at the gates when a shapely brunette stumbled in front of him in a poorly executed attempt at an accidental fall. In one smooth movement Gabe caught her in his arms just before she hit the ground. There were audible gasps of admiration from the watching students, and I saw some of the other girls bristle with jealousy at not having come up with the idea themselves. But there was little to warrant their envy: Gabriel merely steadied the girl, replaced the items that had fallen from her bag, wordlessly picked up his battered briefcase, and kept walking. He wasn't being unfriendly; he simply wouldn't have seen the need for any exchange of words. The girl stared wistfully after him and her friends crowded around, hoping some of the glamour of the moment might rub off on them.

*All three are speechless, missabnormal is the first one to break the silence*

missabnormal: *explodes with anger* Why the hell must teenage girls always be portrayed as shallow twits who are always enamoured with every attractive guy around them?! What kind of a girl would try and catch her teacher's attention by doing that?! No one does that in real life, dammit! And as someone who's studying to be a teacher right now, this makes me very uncomfortable! Student-teacher romances are NOT okay! I don't care if you watch Pretty Little Liars or not, it's still not okay! And God, why the hell do you have to put an emphasis on her being 'shapely'?! Oh right, because according to you, the promiscuous must burn in the pits of Hell, right?! I hate YA novels, I hate slut-shaming and virgin-shaming, I hate how high schools must always be a carbon copy of Mean Girls, I just... Gaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!

(she throws herself on the ground)

Aoba: *also annoyed* She's right, this is stupid. Not even Koujaku's fangirls act like this, and that's saying something! But seriously? Why'd you have to include some girl pretending to faint just to get the attention of her teacher? No girl even does that!

Ren: It appears that this work is a fantasy of the author. But why she would decide to get her own fantasy published is beyond me. *he reads ahead* So Bethany shows some pity for her brother Gabriel as they walk home, and when Gabriel points out that she also had a lot of attention on her, she claims that no one talked to her. However, she decides not to mention her encounter with a boy known as Xavier Woods, who I assume is the eventual love interest.

missabnormal: *sits up* A lying angel? Surely God would not approve of that, right? *snorts* Gotta love the unintentional heresy that Bethany commits.

Aoba: *raises an eyebrow* An angel? Wait, this Bethany girl is an angel?

missabnormal: *nods* Yeah, this is one of the paranormal romance stories that came hot on the heels of Twilight. However, instead of the guy being the supernatural creature, we have the girl as the supernatural. So, it's a love story between a female angel and a human male. Only problem is that our angel doesn't even act like one! In fact, if she were human, nothing much would change!

Aoba: Great. *reads on* Gabriel tells Bethany to be grateful, and we then skip ahead to dinner at their home, where Bethany tells Ivy about the school day. Is Ivy an angel?

missabnormal: Not just an angel, a seraph. Yet she acts like some housewife from the fifties, all domestic and submissive and motherly. *rolls her eyes* That pisses me off!

Aoba: *widens his eyes* Wow. *continues reading* Ivy is amused when Bethany tells her about the girl who fainted, and states that, "teenage girls can be quite lacking in subtlety", and that "the boys, on the other hand, are much harder to read". *bewildered and disbelieving* Wha...? We're hard to read?! Here, let's see if you can read this!

(flips the book off with a sarcastic smile) You can shove this up your ass, author!

missabnormal: Excuse you, Adornetto. Boys aren't that hard to read. You just find them hard to read because your own head is shoved too far up your ass. Well, what's to be expected from a Twilight fangirl? *sighs* Mind taking over, Ren?

Ren: Very well. Gabriel states that they are not hard to read, but that they all seem lost. He also wonders if anyone of them knows what life is about. I have to disagree, actually. Teenagers are not lost and confused because of evil, whatsoever. They are young and they are trying to figure who they are and what they want. Not to mention, they are hormonal, impressionable, and they don't fully understand the consequences from the decisions they make. I've seen all of this when Aoba was a teenager.

missabnormal: Yeah, this is hardly even the work of evil, this is just reality. Look Adornetto, I don't know what you were like as a teenager, but majority of teens are like this. And if this really was evil... then I'm not even impressed. Moving on! Bethany then tells Gabriel and Ivy about what she had heard about two students dying, the outbreak of sickness, and that people are starting to notice.

*raises an eyebrow* Look, there was one freak accident, Bethany. And there have not been multiple outbreaks of sicknesses, there was only one flu outbreak. The factory fires are serious, yet they're blown off as being no big deal. Need I remind you how dangerous those can get?

Bleh. Ivy says that it's good that they came here on time, and Bethany wants to know what their plan of action is. All Gabriel pretty much tells her is that he doesn't know, but that they should sit around and wait! Yeah, no. Aoba, your turn!

Aoba: Well, after such interesting strategies being planned (read: NONE), everyone is silent. Bethany then announces that she made a friend at school in an attempt to lighten up the mood. However, Gabriel and Ivy are disapproving of this, and Bethany whines and asks whether there's a problem with that and that she thought that they needed to blend in. Gabriel then says this:

"Blending in is one thing; but do you realize that friends require time and energy?" said Gabriel. "They'll want to bond." He winced as if the thought was painful to him.

He does have a point, you know. Especially because they're on a supposed mission. Bethany gets confused about bonding, so Gabriel clarifies by telling her that they'll want an emotional connection. Ivy also tells her that friends can be distracting. Overall, the main concern is that friends will start asking questions and wanting to be involved in her life, which is a danger to their own secrecy.

"Well, thanks for the vote of confidence," I replied indignantly. "You know I'd never do anything that might jeopardize the mission. How stupid do you think I am?"

I was pleased to see them exchange guilty looks. I might have been younger and less experienced than they were, but it was no reason to treat me like an idiot.

missabnormal: *she is silent for a moment. Then she promptly breaks into laughter* Oh my God! I cannot believe that you of all people just said that! You're no angel, Bethany! You're just a bratty teenager who's never been disciplined in her life!

*calms down* But on a more serious note, really? That's rich, especially considering that you go gaga over Xavier Woods the douchebag!

Ren: Gabriel becomes more pacifying, stating that he and Ivy trust Bethany, but they want to avoid complications. Yet Bethany just wants to experience teenage life, so Gabriel has to remind her that they're on a mission from God. She sulks a little bit, and then moves onto the next topic.

Bethany states that she feels more relaxed at home, but she does not know what to do with herself, even though Gabriel and Ivy have hobbies that they occupy themselves with after dinner. So to keep herself busy, she does basic domestic chores such as the laundry.

missabnormal: *scathingly* Just like how a good girl should act. But really, why don't these heroines have any hobbies, dammit?! My heroine loves blacksmithing and listening to music and reading horror novels! What, is it too much work to give the heroine an actual personality?! I want to be able to relate to her, dammit!

*shakes her head* Just stay frosty, me. We also get this passage.

It felt strange to be carrying out ordinary tasks when my whole existence was so far from ordinary. I wondered what other seventeen-year-old girls were doing at the moment-- cleaning their bedrooms at the behest of frustrated parents, listening to their favorite bands on their iPods, sending each other text messages to make plans for the weekend, checking their emails when they should be studying?

*quivering with anger* My God, Bethany. Why the hell are you so damn preachy about how teenage girls should behave and act? This is so annoying, and it's not like Bethany's doing any of this.

Aoba: I'll take over for now. *glances in concern at missabnormal* Bethany states that she has homework in three subjects and that she had wrote it down in her school planner, unlike other students who decided to try and memorise it. *frowns* Well, not everyone's Little Miss Perfect like you. She claims that it would hardly take any time for her to do her homework, and that it was too easy, so it seemed like a waste of time.

You know, for an angel, Bethany sure is arrogant. I don't know much about Christianity, but isn't pride considered a Deadly Sin?

Ren: You are right, Aoba. One of the Seven Deadly Sins is Pride, and an angel displaying traits of pride is surely not a good sign. Bethany goes on to describe her bedroom in detail, which makes me wonder whether this is the author's actual bedroom. She then gets out her textbook, which is psychology.

missabnormal: Psychology? You're in high school, Bethany! No one studies psychology in high school! And you're an angel, so you should not understand how human minds work! You're on a completely different level of existence, dammit! She reads about galvanic skin response and she immediately thinks about Xavier. And I swear, if she starts going on about physical chemistry, something is going to get thrown out of this window!

Gah. Bethany then recalls what Molly told her about Xavier and his baggage and then ponders about what it feels like to lose a loved one.

Once Bethany cleans her room, she goes downstairs to help Gabriel with dinner. He's making mushroom risotto, and I'm apparently supposed to be fascinated because OMG, Archangel Gabriel can cook!

Yeah, whatever. Ivy shows up just as Bethany is making tea, and she takes her tea and leaves to write something in a notebook. Apparently, according to Gabriel, Ivy is just starting her mission from God! Bethany laments over how she's envious that Ivy has a sense of purpose already and wonders when she'll discover hers. And then check this out!

"What should I do?" I asked, hating the way I sounded so petulant.

"That will come to you," said my brother. "Give yourself some time."

"And in the meantime?"

"Didn't you say you wanted to experience being a teenager?" He gave me an encouraging smile, and as always, my unease dissolved.

missabnormal: So wait... *appalled* You don't know what you're supposed to do? And you don't have any ideas as to what to do?! You don't know how to help out, how to save this town from evil?! What about volunteering at, say, an animal shelter or a soup kitchen? Or even trying to donate your money to charity? Or spreading the Word of God to others?

I... I just... this is ridiculous! There is absolutely no way that you are angels! What kind of a mission is this anyways?! This is just... I can't. Ren, Aoba, either one of you can take over.

Aoba: *sighs* I'll do it. So now, there's a useless aside regarding porcini mushrooms, Gabriel cuts his finger but washes his finger clean. Bethany eats some celery, does some pointless pondering about humans, health, God, and death, and then Bethany claims that dinner is a success.

Ivy and Bethany compliment the meal, but Gabriel ignores them in favour of discussing the school day. He talks about how he had so many musical students in his class, more than he expected. Ivy correctly points out that it's less about music and more about his good looks. And what does Gabriel say?

"Well, at least it gives me something to work on," Gabe replied. "If they can find beauty in music, they can find beauty in one another and the world too."

*looks disbelieving* Are you stupid? Ivy just told you that they're taking your class because of your good looks, not music! Man, this is just stupid!

Ren: Bethany asks whether Gabriel gets bored in class because he knows everything. She then states that she was bored in chemistry before stating that in her English class, they watched the film version of Romeo and Juliet.

I didn't tell them this, but the love story fascinated me. The way the lovers fell so deeply and irrevocably in love after their first meeting sparked a burning curiosity in me about what human love might feel like.

missabnormal: Oh, great. Another idealistic author who truly believes that Romeo and Juliet was the greatest love story ever told. News flash, it's not. I mean, come on, the story literally takes place in the span of three days! Literally, they met at a party and got infatuated, married the next day, and then killed themselves on the third day!

Ren: You're right. I believe that it was meant to be more of a satire of those kinds of love stories in Shakespeare's day. Not to mention, Romeo and Juliet did not fall in love on their first meeting, it was merely infatuation. I may not be a human, but even I am aware that human love would not feel like that.

Aoba: Damn right! Why is Romeo and Juliet always used as a template for these kinds of stories? What's so amazing about forbidden love anyways? *rolls his eyes* Please tell me we're almost done.

missabnormal: Yep, we're nearly finished!

Aoba: *relieved* Good! So then Ivy asks Bethany what she thought of the story. Bethany claims that it was very powerful, but that her teacher got annoyed when one of her classmates called Lady Capulet an MILF. Because of that, the teacher called the kid a thug and sent him out of the class. *raises an eyebrow* So she calls this kid a thug because he used 'MILF'. Yeah, it's pretty immature, but I don't think it gives an excuse to be sent out of class!

missabnormal: Well, I guess some teachers just don't tolerate dirty humour like that. I remember when I was in my Grade 9 history class, our teacher was writing a list of things to study for a test. Some girl remarked about how the list 'goes a long way down', and then some guy cracked a 'that's what she said' joke. He got sent out for the rest of the period. So I guess some teachers don't like hearing things like that.

Ren: Bethany is confused about the term, so she asks Gabriel about it. He is clearly uncomfortable, but tells her that it's some acronym for a teenage obscenity. When Bethany pushes further, Gabriel describes it as "a term used by adolescent males to describe a woman who is both attractive and a mother". And I do not think teenage males are the only ones who use that term.

In spite of Gabriel's clear discomfort, Bethany insists he explain it further. Ivy cuts in instead.

"I believe it stands for 'mother I'd like to... befriend'," said my sister.

Aoba: *snorts* More than just 'befriend', actually!

missabnormal: Bethany completely buys it and says that the teacher, Miss Castle, needs to chill. Oh Bethany, you naive, ignorant angel. It goes beyond just 'befriending', as Aoba said. And with that, we've finished the fourth chapter! *turns to Ren and Aoba, giving them both hugs* Thank you again for helping me out with this!

Ren: The pleasure is ours.

Aoba: *smiles* No problem! Nice meeting you too! See you around!

(They both depart the theatre)

missabnormal: Next chapter, I'll be alone. I hope you all enjoyed this sporking! See you in Chapter five!

Continue to: Chapter 5- Small Miracles

Go back to: Chapter 3- Venus Cove (Part Two)

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